3 Lessons in 2016 and My Themes for 2017
Happy New Year!!
OK – so I want to let you in on a secret….I am really tired right now. My lunch made me a bit sleepy and this green tea isn’t quite cutting it. I am not feeling inspired nor am I feeling energized to work on this post. But here I am writing it anyway because I know once I start that I will be glad that I did. I share this with you because this is something i have really been soaking in this year.
There are many times that we don’t want to do something and its hard to do when the one pressuring yourself to do it is only you. I don’t have a teacher or a parent telling me I need to do it. I have a self-imposed desire and that’s it! But skipping your personal commitments only leads to distrust. I wanted to dig into this a bit more and I found the 4 tendencies by Gretchen Rubin. From this I determined that I am an obliger although I don’t have too many problems with boundaries, but when I make a commitment to someone I definitely do my best to honor it. I really liked this framework by Gretchen as it is a great way to understand yourself so you can accomplish more of your goals. And that combined with the fact that the “conditions” will never be perfect for all my activities. Sometimes my body will be extra tired when I show up to fitness class, sometimes I will have anxiety, sometimes I won’t have enough food, etc. You just have to make the best of what is in front of you, and still show up. Everything takes time, commitment, and consistency and this is new to me as I think many things came to me easy at a young age. But I am glad that this idea has really soaked in and is how I chose my top 3 key words for 2017. (more on that at the bottom of the post)
I wanted to start out this post sharing my reflections of what I learned in 2016. It has been a year of a lot of growth for me. And there has been so much to look back on, but I knew I wanted to keep this post simple and applicable for you. So I am sharing my top 3 things that I have learned and {heck} I am still learning in 2016.
- You Have to Do things you Don’t Want to Do to Reach your Goals. – I touched on this above a bit…You aren’t always going to feel inspired or feel like you want to do something. Most days I don’t want to go to the gym because I am too tired or didn’t eat enough. Many days I don’t want to write because I don’t feel inspired. But when I show up and do it anyway, I always am happy that I did. I feel better about myself and I get more things done. You cannot wait for the perfect timing because otherwise you will be waiting for ever. Sometimes you do need to listen to your body and rest, but sometimes it can just be an excuse. There is a balance here and trying to find it is the hard part haha. How often do you skip a workout because you are tired? Do you look back on the month and feel dissatisfied because you hardly went to the gym at all? If so you might want to look into finding a way to hold yourself accountable. After starting Orange Theory Fitness, I realized that this was the key to make sure I get in at least 8 1 hour high intensity works each month. I scheduled all my workouts for the month so it was in my schedule and there was no double booking. If I miss a workout, I get fined and I am definitely NOT getting fined for missing a workout! That is all the motivation I needed to make sure that I show up. After reflecting on this experience, I realized that this is what I needed to do in my business, hobbies, and other goals to make sure I do the work. As humans we aren’t good at making decisions in the moment (especially when we are tired), that is why scheduling is key. In the moment, its too hard to make decisions especially at the end of the day when its easier to turn to social media, email, texting, or some sort of instant gratification. Today we have a million distractions and if we don’t set boundaries getting lost in the rabbit hole it can be an endless struggle. This point got a bit long, haha…so to sum it up.. Schedule your personal goals in your calendar. Make them bite-sized and actionable and know what you are going to do when. And if you need extra support tell your friends and ask for accountability. Taking ANY small action on your personal goals will help you to feel loads happier because you are moving towards where you want to be no matter how *slow* it might feel. Show up for you appointments to yourself . This builds trust in you and will make you happier. 🙂
Action: Schedule one thing that you want to accomplish for the week in your calendar. Set a reminder so you are notified to complete the task. Commit to following through on this weekly goal EVEN if you don’t feel like showing up.
- You can learn from countless mentors who share their roadmap, but it won’t work for you if you don’t listen to you own guidance too. I LOVE this lesson. For example, I don’t follow a “perfect” morning routine. I read a lot about how morning routines are so vital to set yourself up for a productive day. I read books like “The Morning Miracle” and learned from countless mentors who explained exactly how they started their morning. So I tried to do all these things and match my routine to them. Instead it felt like a list of MORE things that I needed to do. I could never successfully do all these things because my heart wasn’t into it. It didn’t feel light and exciting, it felt exhausting and draining. (and that is no way to start off the morning) This was my first sign that this wasn’t right for me. Instead I took all these ideas and created my own morning routine that included: reading my inspiring books, meditating, and praying. For now this is how I like to start my day and it works for me. It felt so good to finally let go of the “picture perfect” idea. And not only does this apply to morning routines, but my business and my health! It can be really easy to get stuck in comparison, but remember that everyone’s journey is different. You have to learn by your own exploration because most of the answers can be found inside of you.Working with coaches and reading countless books has taught me that this is only ONE person’s path to success, and that doesn’t mean your road map is exactly the same as theirs. And trying to fit in their mold may only be holding you back.
Action: Take a break from listening to other people, gather everything you have learned and lay it out. Ask what feels right to fit into your life right now? What do you want to add in your life? What can you do to make you feel how you want to feel? We all know the answers deep inside of us, we just need to create the space to listen in to our inner voice. (easier said than done 😉 )
- Don’t try to do everything. This may seem obvious statement, but spreading yourself too thin only sets you up for failure. Last year and earlier in the year, I over-committed myself. I made long lists of things to do that were so overwhelming – it was nearly impossible to be successful. Honestly, at the time I believed that my list wasn’t that long and I believed that I HAD to do all these things to reach my goals. I set myself up for failure and felt guilty all the time because I never got what I needed done. I was exhausted, irritated, and found myself sometimes doing 10 things at time switching between tabs and notes on my computer. Then it finally hit me – I was the one allowing myself to believe this lie that I needed to do everything. It was my responsibility for choosing to be overwhelmed and setting these unrealistic expectations. So I decided enough was enough I had to choose another way, I needed to keep things simple, rest more (without guilt) and give myself space to do nothing. The reality is it is easier to believe that you always need to do more, and its a lot harder to let go of this belief. So I switched my focus on one goal to commit to. I try to push myself at a healthy level and I reexamine my expectations regularly so I don’t take too much on. And sometimes I get even more things done because I am focused on a few tasks instead of everything at once. This is definitely still a challenge and is something I want to focus more in 2017. But it feels really good to understand this about myself and how its played a part in my life.Action: Look at your life and decide what you can practically accomplish. This may take some trial and error because honestly I don’t always know for myself. Push yourself at a healthy level (3 tasks per day) but don’t beat yourself up for not getting through everything. We need to allow rest and always remember to ask for help.
These are a few of the lessons that I learned in 2016, I love reflecting on this because it shows me how far I have come and when I feel like I have learned everything I realize there is a lot more to learn! I cannot wait to see everything I will learn in 2017! YAY!
For the year ahead, I like to choose words that describe how I most want to feel. These are the 3 words that speak to me right now in my life and are rolling around in my head on a daily basis because it is exactly what I need more of. My words for 2017 are devotion, commitment, and focus. The first 2 words, I fell in love with during Heather Waxman’s Your Creative Self meditation course. I loved how the words felt in my body. I knew it was what I needed more of and it just felt like the right time to add more of this in. I desired to be more committed in my blogging goals, nourishing myself through exercise and being devoted to daily physical movement. Thinking of these words remind me of my commitment to myself and my future. I always want to show up for myself and I want to be devoted to my life and purpose.
Now I want to apply these words even further. I desire a devoted practice of creating more space of stillness instead of cluttering up my mind with more information. I consume a lot of information but it can definitely become too much and it’s been a problem for me. I have realized that there is only so much you can learn and you won’t find all the answers in another email, book, or free e course. So instead I want to commit to a few books and study and use what I learn in real life. I also cleaned out my inbox and only subscribe to the people that I absolutely adore reading every word of their emails. These are a few ways that I want to devote myself to more stillness in 2017.
I also want to be more devoted to loving my body. It’s been a challenge to stay in a place of love and it takes daily work. I have found that the lonelier I am the more I sink into thoughts that only take me down. It’s easy to get caught up in negative judgement and I have to be devoted to keep myself in a good place of positive thoughts. Loving my body means not comparing, not judging myself, being okay with lack of control, feeling all the feelings, being IN my body no matter how uncomfortable it feels, allowing myself time to do nothing and not feel guilty.
Last I desire to be more devoted to this blog. Now that I have chosen to (focus) my last key word I know that I am going to be able to consistently show up. Many times I don’t want to write or I feel resistant to be so personal but then it’s always worth it when it just flows out of me like now. I feel satisfied. I feel happy. My goal isn’t to tell u what I am doing is right for you. My goal is to share my path and my journey in this life. We are all on the same journey and how we get to where we are going is different.❤
I have no idea what 2017 will bring for me. But I am excited for the new adventures, stories, blog posts, recipe creations, and the amazing people who join me along the way! ?
Cheers to an amazing year of fun!
xx
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