“Girl Stop Apologizing” Book Review

An important part of wellness is mindset and living your purpose. This is an area of wellness that I am love educating about and will be talking about more and more.

You can eat the healthiest diet and do all the things, but if you aren’t working towards your personal goals and living purposefully, your health will suffer.

For me, a personal goal is building this blog because I love it. I love sharing what I learn and my perspective on things. I love educating and writing. I have a goal to write a book and I have it already started! But making time for writing is the difficult because it takes a lot of energy to sit down, get in the zone, and be clear on what you are even writing. You never know what road block will pop up….maybe you are emotionally drained, maybe you didn’t eat enough so your brain cannot function, maybe your body hurts from sitting at a desk, maybe a family member needs your help, maybe you have other priorities that pop up. It could be anything! And of course, writing is the first to go because you need a bit of space to make it happen.

I have fought these blocks for years and the truth is I have gotten better and better at managing my energy and focus.

Before we dive into Girl Stop Apologizing, I want to share few key points about goals.

What I have learned about accomplishing goals:

1. Motivation comes and goes. 
If I only wrote when I was motivated, I would not have half as many posts.

2. Build Space into your Life.
Think about what you need to make it happen and create space in your day to day.
For example, I love mid mornings for writing. I write THE BEST during this time.  I set up my schedule, so this time is available for me to focus. Yes, I schedule my time. Sometimes it sucks because you don’t want a schedule. But it creates space for ME and my goals and that makes me happy. Once you realize how much happier you can be with a schedule…you will do it.

3. Be Consistent
Right now, I am really focused on consistency.  I want writing to become a habit like eating real food. I want to master it so much that it becomes a no brainer. Any goal you want to achieve, you must find a way to consistently show up daily otherwise you will be fighting yourself.

These are a few things that have been BIG learning lessons for me, and this book brought them all back up to the surface.

My initial thoughts about the book:

When I first saw this book come out, I had no intention of reading it. The title did not attract me. I actually felt repelled by it. “Girl Stop Apologizing”.  The title for me screams boundaries and feeling shame for working on your goals. That is not something I felt like I struggle with, as I am not afraid telling others I cannot make time for outings and social events. 

But this book jumped at me one day…and I forget how it happened. But it was a sudden urge, even though I had these preconceived notions that this book wasn’t for me.  And when I read it, it was much more than I thought and exactly what I needed. All in perfect timing. 🙂

Here are 5 of my favorite parts of “Girl Stop Apologizing”:

1. Goals take Inconvenience.

I may not struggle with saying no, but I do feel guilty about not fulfilling my duties. Asking for help because I want to work on a personal goal is difficult. Personal goals always seem to go to the back burner..because it feels selfish. And its hard not to feel guilty about it getting “in the way”. And this quote in Rachel’s book really connected to me….

“Being inconvenienced is a part of life, and if you are willing to do it for them, then you better be willing to demand that they do it for you.”

If you have a goal, you might have to inconvenience people. You cannot spend as much time with your friends, you will need your hubby’s help, you won’t be able to do it all. Men are good asking for what they want…so we need to too!! Don’t be afraid to inconvenience people!!! Yes that statement makes me cringe, but damn it – we are so afraid of “annoying” people! It is hold us back and we don’t even know it!!

2. One thing at a Time.

Over and over, I have tried to change everything at once. Therefore, right now I am focused on one habit. And that is creating a daily writing habit. You cannot start every project at once or master 10 new habits. It doesn’t work. You set yourself up for failure, you get overwhelmed, and then you give up. This has happened to me too many times to count and I am over it!

3. 10, 10, 1.

This is a framework created by Rachel. 10 years, 10 dreams, 1 goal. I like this framework because it helps you determine what your one goal should be. Overwhelm is a problem and writing a bunch of goals makes it hard to decide where to focus. And focus is about the only way to make your 10 dreams happen in 10 years…  The first step is to envision who you want to be in 10 years. And then write down the 10 dreams that you want to come true that would make that 10 year vision come to life! And then you write down, one specific goal that will bring you closer to one of those dreams. I love how it is practical and exactly what Rachel used (and uses) to reach her goals.

4. If It Is a Maybe, It is a No.

DON’T DO THINGS YOU DON’T WANT TO DO. The world needs you doing things in your lane of expertise. For example, I will volunteer to bake and cook dinners because I enjoy it and its my lane of expertise. But I won’t be volunteering to plan a big event because it is not something I enjoy. We cannot do it all, and if you anyone makes you feel bad…that is their own insecurity of not being able to say no.

Rachel talks about how she hates being a parent volunteer at her kids school. I love this! I think too many people shame other people for not doing what is expected. Um…how many other parents LOVE volunteering??! I know my mom loved it, but that doesn’t mean every mom should! Stay in your lane and do what you do best.

5. Create a Road Map for your Goals

This is in the section under “planning” skills. It is a simple strategy to achieve your goals one by one. Creating a plan is key because how else are you going to get to the end point if you don’t know where to go??!

The first step is to work backwards and start with the end goal. Then you brainstorm a bunch of ideas that can help you get closer to the goal. Then pick the 3 ideas that would help you without a doubt achieve your goal. These 3 are your guideposts. Try not to get caught up in the how…only focus on what you need to do. Then you want to order them to make the most sense to get you to the end point. Last, you focus on the mile markers. These are the steps in-between. You want to brainstorm a bunch of ideas (you can use google) to use as your mile markets to get you to your first guidepost.

Your road map will look like this:

End Goal
3 Guide Posts
Mile Markers (to achieve each guide post)
Start of Goal

*This part was a bit tricky for me to understand so I want to break it down. She provides examples, but switches between her book proposal and wedding planning business. I love different examples for ideas, but I think she should have just stuck with one here…ANYWAY.

Here is an example of how you can create your own road map for your health goals.

End Goal: Lose 10 lbs, Have More Energy – Why? to feel more confident and less focused on how I feel.

1. Do a Whole 30 for 30 Days (Guide Post 1)
   Mile Markers: Clean out pantry, Get rid of sweets, Buy cleaner ingredients, Plan Meals, Buy a Cookbook, Join a group program,
2. Sleep 8 hours (Guidepost 2)
   Mile Markers: Receive accountability from Partner, Wind down 1 hour before bed, Limit screen time at night, Make your space extra dark, Clear your Head by Journaling, Make a to-do list for the next day, Think about what stops you from getting 8 hours a sleep and figure out how to conquer the roadblocks.
3. Switch to Safer Beauty Products (Guide Post 3)
   Buy new products as you run out. Purchase the swaps that low hanging fruit in your mind.

Don’t get too hung up on the guideposts. There can be lots of over-analyzing here. You want to start taking real action, not spending all your time overthinking. Planning this road-map doesn’t actually get you closer to your health goals so no overthinking!! Spend more time taking action on the mileposts!

If you want to discuss your road maps, share below! Not only will it help you push you to create your map, but we can help you if you get stuck!

Conclusion

I hope this post encouraged you to check out Rachel’s book, Girl Stop Apologizing” It is inspirational, yet very practical so you feel like you are headed in the right direction rather than just overwhelmed with excitement. I highly recommend it, no matter what goals you are pursuing!

xoxo

PS – If you want to read another book review about one of my favorite books – check out this one.